Wednesday, March 30, 2011

On Westboro Baptist Church, Illuminati and Conspiracy Theories

You ever put a lot of thought into something, and it just consumes you to the point where you can't think of anything else, despite the sheer stupidity behind it?

I've had that problem the last couple of weeks with two things: The Westboro Baptist Church and internet conspiracy theorists who talk about the illuminati.

Perhaps as part of my illusions of grandeur and the delusion of me being the smartest man in the world (I'm smart enough to know I'm not, which should make me the smartest man in the world) I feel like if I say something about both, all discussions will stop, Westboro Baptist Church will stop spreading their message of hate and bigotry, and people will stop believing that somehow a secret group controls everything in the world.

Yet I know thats not the case so I'll just write about it and watch the debate start.

First off, WBC. Fred Phelps, I don't know if you know this but, in that same bible you preach contains messages that God hates this and that, it also contains a message from God's son, who he sent to die on a cross for all of our sins. What does his son say?

Love thy neighbor.

See Mr. Phelps, God is merciful and loving, at least the God I saw in the New Testament (I'll admit that in the old Testament he's kind of a prick) and even loves you.

I even love you, because God tells me to love every one of his creations and sadly, you are one of his creations too.

But do you realize the pain you put onto the families of soldiers by protesting their funerals? How would you feel if one of your children passed away and a group of Athiests and Agnostics came to their funeral to protest?

I know you don't think about things like that. You just want to spread your hateful agenda. You know what, I'm ok with that. Not because I agree with you (I vehemently disagree with everything you and your hateful church stand for) but because of the first amendment. The same law that gives me the right to write this blog applies to you too. I don't have a problem with you protesting, my only wish is that you and your congregation showed more respect for mankind.

Speaking of mankind, just a quick view on YouTube will tell you that we're doomed. Apparently we're not in control of everything, instead, its the illuminati. They're responsible for 9/11, World War II, and every other terrible thing that's happened to Planet Earth.

Oh and their membership is large: to join you must sell your soul to the devil, then apparently make stupid hand motions, look, LeBron James is even a member:

ZOINKS SCOOBY! Look at that, we are doomed! The World is run by the illuminati! AHHHHHHH!!!!!! GET ME MY TIN FOIL HAT!!!

Back to reality, look at that video again. The triangle motion is for Roc-A-Fella records, which at one point was owned by Jay-Z, who himself has been accused of being a member of the illuminati and selling his soul to the devil. They claim the triangle is a sign of the devil, as is the chef's "OK" hand sign and the rock and roll hand sign that's also known as "Hook 'em Horns." LeBron does the chef's "OK" hand sign on both hands, which signifies 3-3-0, the area code for Akron, Ohio. Akron as you may know is his hometown.

I'm going to debunk every conspiracy theory known to man right here and right now, and I'm stealing from Penn and Teller to do so: Watergate.

The government couldn't even break into an office and steal a couple of files without significantly screwing that operation up. This is something that has been done before and done since without a hitch, yet the Government messed it up royally.

So how could these same people manage to fake a moon landing, blow up the WTC while blaming terrorists, and other so-called conspiracies without screwing those up? Those would be much harder to pull off than breaking into an office building and stealing a few files right?

Of course that's the reality, but these Illuminati conspiracy theorists won't consider such.

I have a couple of theories. The first one is easy and ties back to the WBC. Look at any illuminati conspiracy theory, and they claim that the illuminati controls Hollywood and the Banks. That's interesting because according to the same people, it is always the Jews who control Hollywood and the Banks. Now I'm not saying that there's an anti-semetic sentiment here, but, there's an anti-Semetic sentiment here.

Everyone has dreams and aspirations to make something of themselves. However, not everyone has the drive, work ethic, or talent to make it work. Jay-Z had to struggle to become the mogul that he is today. LeBron spent hours a day practicing in a gym since he was 8 to become the basketball player that he is today.

But some people can't accept that they don't have the talent or worse, the work ethic. People don't like being held responsible for themselves, they rely on others too much. Look how easy it is for a group at your job or at school to assess blame on each other when a project or assignment goes poorly and you'll see what I mean.

When you don't succeed, about 99% of the time its your fault. But instead of taking the responsibility and trying again like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and yes even Jay-Z and LeBron James have done, the majority of people just want to blame others and look for other reasons that they failed.

So in comes this illuminati talk. Its not that Jay-Z is a great rapper alone, there are so many dope rappers out there that are better than him, he had to have sold his soul to the devil to succeed. That's the logic behind such talk that ignores Jay-Z's tireless work ethic through the years.

And its not that LeBron James is a 6 ft. 8 inch 250lb genetic freak who took to basketball at a young age that helped his greatness. He had to have sold his soul to the devil. Again, this ignores the fact that he worked his @$$ off to get to where he is today.

Besides, if LeBron really sold his soul to the devil then he should be asking for a refund right about now. He sells Satan his soul and he still doesn't have a ring? WTF!


  1. Cool story bro.Now go back to sleeeeeeeeep

  2. God is still in control!!! he has a great plan to fulfill. God wants to give eternal lives to the whole world. I cannot say any more. We live in the world of satan! Be quiet and get saved through JESUS.


  3. Maybe WBC is an illuminati plant to give Christians a bad name.

  4. Don't be calling calling a God a curse word like that. What's wrong with you?

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