Does Anybody Even Know What A Satire is?

This weekend I went on a writing spree, of which I'm assuming this is part of since I just wrote a new story about two hours ago.

But man, did I get annoyed with the reaction of one story I wrote, titled: Why The Los Angeles Lakers and Miami Heat Are Overrated.

Now if you haven't already, stop for just a second and read the article.

Did you really take the article seriously? Was I really trying to insinuate that the Heat, Lakers and Celtics, the three most talented teams in the NBA, were overrated?

Sadly, at Bleacher Report, there are hundreds of articles written like this every day.

Each of these articles are filled with complete internet diarrhea, as they are nothing more than a "My team's dong is bigger than your team's dong" variety of "facts." Many people are upset at ESPN for hyping these teams up and playing favorites with them. You know your argument is off base when you're making me defend ESPN in 2010.

That's why I wrote the piece, to MOCK all of the people who write such incessant garbage. And sadly, people got upset that I dared to satirize something that needed to be satirized, all in the name of common sense and logic.

Anyone who reads that piece should know that taking it seriously would be like taking Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, or The Colbert Report seriously, if you do, you have some serious problems.

Yet some people took this crap seriously! How serious?

THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO READ! THEY INSTEAD ENGAGED IN THE TYPE OF BEHAVIOR THAT I WAS TRYING TO MOCK, AND ON TOP OF THAT, QUESTIONED MY WRITING ABILITY!

Now there are few things I'm sensitive about, one of them is wishing ill upon others, which forced me to defend someone I've never met and probably wouldn't urinate on me if I was on fire even though he plays for my favorite basketball team, and the other is when my writing skills, which I've worked so hard to refine since I was in Middle School, are attacked by people for no reason and instead of offering constructive criticism, they just call it a "waste of time."

I'm not sure if I should be calling them the idiots for not getting it, or if I'm the idiot for thinking that these people would be smart enough to see through everything said in the article, but I need to reassure myself (yes I'm that selfish) that I did this correctly.

So I'm asking all of you kindly, if you got this far and haven't read it yet, or if you have and haven't critiqued me yet, to please read the article, and critique it CONSTRUCTIVELY! Tell me whether you got it, if you understood that it was a joke and would've had I not told you already. If you read it before I exposed the parody aspect of it, tell me if you caught onto it quickly, or if I needed to do something better in order to make it more clear.

Because unfortunately, for the thousands of bleacher report readers who read it, I didn't, and it honestly has me just a little ticked off.

A Great Idea for South Florida Sports and TV

Note: I originally published this in November, but with me now posting articles on Bleacher Report, I decided to re-publish it to make it more timely, even though I believe its still a timely story. So if you read this already and want something original from me, I'm sorry, I'll have something new up tomorrow. But if you're reading this for the first time, then enjoy.

I’m not a business man, I’ve never tried to be, and I try not to be. I’m a writer and a sports fan at heart, and yes, this is about sports, but more the business of sports for today.

Sports teams are a business. There, I said it! We want to believe that they’re for civic pride, just ask people in Seattle how much civic pride they have over their Super Sonics right now, or ask a Hartford resident how much civic pride they have over the mighty whale right now, or rabid hockey fan living in Winnipeg or Quebec City, who I’m sure are just BURSTING with civic pride over their Jets and Nordiques respectively. No, they’re businesses, they can pick up and leave when they want, and they’re out to make money.

Of course, they also operate as a monopoly. The Miami Heat is the only NBA team in Miami, the Florida-soon to be Miami Marlins are the only professional baseball team in Miami. Both teams at one point were on the verge of moving before getting new stadiums built. The Heat got the American Airlines Arena which I must say is aging like a fine wine as opposed to the old Miami Arena and the Marlins will be moving into their new ballpark in exactly 162 home games not counting the playoffs. What does one have to do with the other? They both always take a backseat to The Miami Dolphins, both in the hearts of the fans, and in the media. On top of that, they both have to share a regional sports network cartel with teams from other parts of the state of Florida! In 2012, it’s only going to get worse, since the Marlins new stadium is a retractable roof ballpark, they will be competing for events such as concerts, conventions, professional wrestling, and other events where they can make money other than the team’s games themselves. It doesn’t have to be this way, and on top of that, it won’t, if they can heed my idea. Unlikely, but I have to get it on paper somehow.

The Marlins and The Heat should merge all of their non-baseball and non-basketball operations together.

Has this ever been done before, two teams of different sports merging? YES, pun intended! Why is the pun there you may ask? Well, the YES network started off as a merger between the New Jersey Nets and the New York Yankees. This was done in 1999 in order to leverage their television deals together. We ended up with YES network because they found that if they just produced their teams own games and broadcasted it on their own network, hence collecting the advertising themselves, they’d make more money than just selling their rights to a Fox Sports Net type channel. Other teams followed suit and got in the act afterwards, in some cases it succeeded (Comcast Sports Chicago, owned 25% by Comcast, 25% by the Chicago Cubs, and 50% by Jerry Reinsdorf the owner of the White Sox and Bulls; Altitude which is owned by the owner of the Denver Nuggets and the Colorado Avalanche; NESN which actually predates YES and is owned 80% by the Red Sox and 20% by the Boston Bruins; and SportsTime Ohio which is owned by the Cleveland Indians), and in some cases its failed (Victory Sports One lasted a cool 3 games when it was established in 2004 by the Minnesota Twins, however when it failed to get cable coverage anywhere in the established markets of the Twins and thus folded as the Twins moved back to their local FSN).

However this merger isn’t just about their own television network, which we WILL get to, as well as WHY it would succeed, it’s about integrating the businesses of two sports franchises that seem so different but really together could be the same.

Now, I don’t know if Mickey Arison and Jeffrey Loria know each other, hell, I doubt they’ve even been in the same room, but one has to think that if presented with such an idea, something could be worked out. For Arison, it would be a chance to own a piece of a Major League Baseball team. I’m not sure if that’s something he’d be interested in, hell if he was he probably would’ve competed against Huizinga to bring baseball to South Florida (No way he would’ve bought the team from him in 1998 when the team was up for sale, the two men hated each other!) For Loria, it would be something new to his portfolio, an NBA team, and the glitz and glamour that comes with it. The model with this though is one of efficiency.

The Heat and Marlins obviously wouldn’t merge their baseball and basketball operations. As funny as it would be to see how Larry Beinfest would try to woo LeBron to the Heat, or see Pat Riley find a way to make Freddi need to spend some time with his family, or see Cody Ross run the point, or even Dwyane Wade fully emulate his hero Michael Jordan and hit below the Mendoza line for the Carolina Mudcats one year, it’s just not going to happen that way! Here’s what WOULD be merged:

· Stadium/Arena operations. The Heat own and operate American Airlines Arena, and while Miami-Dade County will own the new Marlins Ballpark with the Marlins operating it. The two teams thru their merged company could create a company in charge of operating both places. Now the New York Yankees and The Dallas Cowboys set up a joint-venture between the two of them to operate both stadiums, this plan is similar but like I mentioned before there’s more to it. The positive of this is no competing for events. Concerts expecting to have large draws in the winter in South Florida’s perfect winter weather take place at the Marlins Ballpark, while smaller summer shows would take place at the Triple-A. Plus it would also open up the possibility of a Regular Season Heat game played outdoors in front of possibly 40,000 Heat fans sometime between December and February. (I’d suggest an annual Christmas Afternoon game against the Magic, Knicks, or Bulls and tie it in to the Orange Bowl Festivities, and while we’re at it, BRING BACK THE ORANGE BOWL PARADE DAMMIT, sorry, that’s another blog!)

· Sales and Marketing. Now here comes the drawback, if you merge their sales and marketing departments, which deal with ticket sales, marketing, and the Miami Heat team store, and sponsorships, well, people are going to lose their jobs. I’m sorry; it’s a fact of life with these mergers. BUT, wouldn’t it be more efficient and save both clubs a lot of money if their sales and marketing departments were combined? Just imagine the possibilities: Heat season ticket holders get discounts on Marlins tickets, Marlins season ticket holders get discounts on Heat tickets, and season ticket holders of both teams could actually purchase packages that combine the two teams. Example: say you but a 20 game Miami Marlins season ticket package. Well, season ticket sales for baseball are made right in the middle of basketball season, so you buy a 20 game Marlins ticket package, and you can get 50% off any 4 Heat games from the time you purchase the tickets until the end of the season. Plus, you could by Heat tickets at Marlins en Miami, the Marlins Little Havana ticket office, or Marlins tickets at the Triple-A. Hell, you could buy tickets for any event taking place at either arena at any of the arenas. Metaphorically speaking, you could catch a Saturday Afternoon Marlins game in April that begins at 1pm. You’re out by 4, and there are tickets available for the Heat’s 7:30 matchup with the Knicks that could determine what seed the Heat get in the playoffs. Well with your Marlins ticket, you could go to a ticket window at the Marlins Ballpark (or even a computer kiosk if you’re using a credit card, which many people would anyways) show the Marlins ticket to the attendant (or scan it if you’re using the kiosk) and just like that, you could get 25% off your tickets to the heat game. In fact, the Marlins will even be kind enough to even let you know the best time to do it (it's when you hear the PA say “now pitching for the Miami Marlins, Renyel Pinto.”) Same could go with the Heat at the Triple-A as well.

· Shared Sponsorships. Of course the myth in sports is that they make their money from the fans that come see the games. Well, sort of. Sponsorships like it or not, drive the economy of sports. After all, there are as many as 19,000 sets of eyeballs at the Triple-A, and during a sell-out there could be as many as 37,000 at the Marlins ballpark. Now with both teams negotiating joint sponsorships, odds are companies could pay less money but reach more people. They could probably even pay less for the two teams combined then they do for the Dolphins alone. The two teams already have many of the same sponsors, such as Pepsi, Papa John’s, American Airlines to name a few. An appealing proposition to sponsors though would be the opportunity to sponsor both teams, purchase advertising in both venues, AND purchase ads on their new Television Network, which brings me to the final point (I know you’ve been reading this for a while and are at word number 1,590 right now, so just bare with me.)

· Their own Television Network/Radio Network. Now they already have their own “radio networks” but those are really just a loose chain of radio stations that cover the team. Well, they could sell their radio packages together, or even purchase a Sports Talk radio station in South Florida of their own (Best station for that would be the low-rated 940 The Sports Animal WINZ. Great coverage not only in Miami-Dade and Broward, but could be picked up as far North as Palm Beach and as far west as Ft. Myers, both within the markets of the Heat and the Marlins. Then make Dan LeBatard and Jorge Sedano offers they couldn’t refuse for Drive-Time, while developing new local talent as opposed to syndicated sports programming with the exception of ESPN Radio and Westwood One’s NFL and NCAA package, then purchase an FM Talk station geared towards men 18-45 for overflow programming and general talk or syndicated talk programs like Dan Patrick and Jim Rome.) Of course I’d also suggest purchasing stations throughout the Marlins and Heat’s territory including Naples-Ft. Myers, and West Palm Beach to simulcast such programming.

Then there’s their television network. Fox Sports owns a monopoly on sports programming throughout the State of Florida, owning two Regional Sports Networks: Sun Sports and FSN Florida. Unfortunately, these two networks cover sports in the ENTIRE sport of Florida. This leads to the Heat and Marlins getting subpar deals to broadcast their games, on a Sports Network with virtually no other local programming, not even a nightly report on all that’s going on in Florida Sports. In fact, if I have to see The Best Damn Sports Show Period one more time, I’m going on a 5 county killing spree!

There IS a better way, and this one will not only benefit the Heat and Marlins, but the Panthers, Dolphins, even whichever Television stations in the Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, and Naples-Ft. Myers Networks decide to sign on.

The new cable net would be based in Miami, with studios based in the Triple-A for Heat games, and in the New Marlins Ballpark for Marlins games, and main studios based in whatever Miami television station they’d partner with (Of course, the network would encompass all of South Florida, when I say all of South Florida I’m not just speaking of the Miami-Ft. Lauderdale DMA, but also West Palm Beach’s DMA and Naples-Ft. Myers DMA.) They’d purchase the rights to Heat and Marlins games, produce them, and the teams would collect the revenues from Advertising. If they choose, they could bid on the Panthers, BUT, I could mainly see them just making a serious bid on them, before FSN decides since they’re already losing the Marlins and Heat to make a serious claim to the Panthers, thus driving up the price for the Panthers.

Of course, if the Marlins-Heat TV partnership wins the rights to the Panthers, then they’d have a South Florida only regional sports net, a good idea would be a South Florida Cable only news network to accompany it as sort of a South Florida version of Headline News with bureaus in all of the local Television Stations affiliated with them in South Florida (before they went all Nancy Grace on us) plus a venue for overflow programming (I.E. Panthers Games)

Again, the programming would be strictly local. If they do somehow manage to own the monopoly on South Florida Sports Coverage, they could also bid on exclusive rights to Miami Dolphins pre-season football, plus Miami Dolphins post game press conferences, off-season press conferences, and during draft time a Miami Dolphins draft special. During the day they’d also air press conferences of any of the teams involved, plus hourly news and weather updates from their partners.

What would they air other than press conferences, specials, and the games themselves you might ask? A lot! I’d sign a deal with WWE for one. MSG in New York has one, why not our theoretical regional sports network? First you’d have programs from the WWE’s developmental territory Florida Championship Wrestling every weekend. It could air late at night or in the early mornings. Then you could have WWE’s Florida Classics. If a significant wrestling event from WWE, WCW, NWA, or any wrestling organization whose library is owned by WWE took place in Florida, it could be shown on WWE Florida Theatre hosted by none other than the great Craig DeGeorge!

During afternoons you could simulcast LeBatard’s show since he loves to be on TV so much, along with the previous night’s Marlins or Heat or Panthers game or even classic Heat, Marlins or Panthers games, Fall Friday Nights could be for the High School Football game of the week, with coverage of the State Football playoffs and championship. Then after games a comprehensive post game show, then a 30 minute South Florida Sports wrap up show similar to SportsCenter, without all of the superficial shit they include, that also includes relevant National Highlights.

Now I mentioned all of these partner TV stations in the three television markets this station would have cable coverage in, but you're probably asking, what would this station do for them? A LOT! This would be a lucrative package for any Television stations that decided to sign up for such a partnership. Just cut sports completely from their budget and pay a flat fee to the network for a nightly 2 minute sports report at 6pm and 11pm (or 10pm depending on the station) PLUS, a Friday Night Marlins package, a Friday Night Heat package, a Saturday Night Panthers Package, and possibly if Friday Night doesn’t work or even as a supplement to Friday Nights, a Sunday Afternoon Marlins package (this one would only last until September if the partner stations are CBS or Fox affiliates because of football.)

Of course the main studios would be located at the flagship broadcast station, meaning we need a station that’s state of the art, would appreciate the programming, and wouldn’t mind also running a local cable only supplement to their main news programming. From Miami, I’d eliminate WFOR because, hell, its 2009 and they haven’t even gone HD yet even though they’re a CBS owned and operated station. While the thought of an all news station would appeal to WSVN, it hurts that it’s a Fox Station and Fox wouldn’t be too thrilled with one of their stronger affiliates linking up with someone that drove them out of a lucrative market. WPLG has the ABC affiliation BUT then if ABC gets interested and decides to stir the pot a little bit, we’d wind up with ESPN South Florida and honestly we don’t want that (even though the radio station would be an ESPN radio affiliate AND late nights the RSN would air ESPNNEWS, an ESPN clone is NOT a good idea.)

This leaves us narrowed down to two options in South Florida: WTVJ, an NBC owned and operated station, and WSFL, a tribune owned CW affiliate. (WBFS is owned by CBS like WFOR, therefore it’s eliminated by proxy despite being the home of WWE Smackdown due to its MyNetworkTV affiliation.) Well, thing with WTVJ is that they’d enjoy the cut costs from not having a sports department, but as for an all news channel operated by them, eh, sorry, couldn’t see it working. Plus, we already mentioned a Friday Night Marlins/Heat package meaning Jay Leno would be pre-empted, something we all know NBC doesn’t want despite the fact that it’s been this year’s television EPIC FAIL!

In South Florida this leaves us with WSFL. Once upon a time it was just known as Channel 39, then WB 39, then CW South Florida, until finally they rebranded the station SFL. They already have the rights to SEC Football and basketball and have been aggressive in purchasing programming. Their afternoon programming to compete with other station’s news programs includes top hits such as Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Two and a Half Men. They’re also looking to expand their local news presence, and are operated by the Sun-Sentinel, a local Miami newspaper (both are owned by Tribune Company, who has a similar arrangement in Chicago to the local TV station-local cable news net idea for South Florida that I’m posting.) They’ve already launched a morning show that has seen its rough patches but improves on its ratings daily, and with the backing of the Sun-Sentinel could most likely run a 24 hour news station using up and coming talent that are fresh from graduation from FIU or UM to possibly in the future promote into the big leagues (which in their case would be a 10pm newscast.) Plus, other than SEC football and basketball, no other sports programming from any networks (CW doesn’t have the rights to any sports coverage) and weekend programming that mainly consists of re-runs and movies (and since the CW doesn’t program on Sunday Nights, the occasional Sunday Night Heat or Panthers game could find its way onto SFL’s schedule.)

This seems way too perfect not to work, especially since Tribune has experience with their local stations airing local sports teams games (WPIX in New York with Mets, Rangers, and Knicks, WGN in Chicago with the Cubs, White Sox, Bulls and Blackhawks). As for the other partners, Well, let’s go with the CW affiliates in both markets: WTVX in West Palm Beach, which has no plans for a newscast but would sure welcome one either produced by WSFL but geared towards West Palm Beach (or even an hour long newscast simulcast to both CW stations done in Ft. Lauderdale servicing both markets since Ft. Lauderdale is in the middle of both.) And for the Ft. Myers-Naples area, since their CW affiliate WXCW had a newscast produced by CBS affiliate WINK, both stations could contribute and be a member of this loose network, with WINK getting some Marlins, Heat and Panthers games in the Friday-Saturday-Sunday timeslots that they’d normally air anyways that don’t interfere with CBS Network programming, plus the money they’d save on their sports bureau.

Of course you’re thinking this wouldn’t work, as the station would mainly give out Marlins and Heat propaganda. Not the case, it would be independent of the two organizations, but owned under the same corporate umbrella. The reporting would have to be fair, and not abused like say with negative attacks and editorials about departing free agents or players they want to trade (not at least without a dissenting opinion). The revenue’s they’d bring in with advertising, and their partnerships with these stations would be enough to give the Marlins plenty of money to spend, as well as give the Heat more than enough to cover any luxury tax payments they’d have to make.

Of course, all of this is just a pipe dream, but a great idea none the less. If I’m the Marlins and Heat and this offer was proposed to me, I’d take it in a cocaine heartbeat. What are the chances of this happening? We probably would never see it, but if anyone reads this that can make things happen and get things done, they might want to forward the link to this blog in an e-mail to Mr. Mickey Arison and Mr. Jeffrey Loria, that way at least they’ll waste money hiring consultants to tell them exactly what I’m saying they should do and telling them for free.

And if it does happen, Mr. Arison, Mr. Loria, and their consultants can take all of the credit.

A Great Idea for South Florida Sports and TV

I’m not a business man, I’ve never tried to be, and I try not to be. I’m a writer and a sports fan at heart, and yes, this is about sports, but more the business of sports for today.

Sports teams are a business. There, I said it! We want to believe that they’re for civic pride, just ask people in Seattle how much civic pride they have over their Super Sonics right now, or ask a Hartford resident how much civic pride they have over the mighty whale right now, or rabid hockey fan living in Winnipeg or Quebec City, who I’m sure are just BURSTING with civic pride over their Jets and Nordiques respectively. No, they’re businesses, they can pick up and leave when they want, and they’re out to make money.

Of course, they also operate as a monopoly. The Miami Heat is the only NBA team in Miami, the Florida-soon to be Miami Marlins are the only professional baseball team in Miami. Both teams at one point were on the verge of moving before getting new stadiums built. The Heat got the American Airlines Arena which I must say is aging like a fine wine as opposed to the old Miami Arena and the Marlins will be moving into their new ballpark in exactly 162 home games not counting the playoffs. What does one have to do with the other? They both always take a backseat to The Miami Dolphins, both in the hearts of the fans, and in the media. On top of that, they both have to share a regional sports network cartel with teams from other parts of the state of Florida! In 2012, it’s only going to get worse, since the Marlins new stadium is a retractable roof ballpark, they will be competing for events such as concerts, conventions, professional wrestling, and other events where they can make money other than the team’s games themselves. It doesn’t have to be this way, and on top of that, it won’t, if they can heed my idea. Unlikely, but I have to get it on paper somehow.

The Marlins and The Heat should merge all of their non-baseball and non-basketball operations together.

Has this ever been done before, two teams of different sports merging? YES, pun intended! Why is the pun there you may ask? Well, the YES network started off as a merger between the New Jersey Nets and the New York Yankees. This was done in 1999 in order to leverage their television deals together. We ended up with YES network because they found that if they just produced their teams own games and broadcasted it on their own network, hence collecting the advertising themselves, they’d make more money than just selling their rights to a Fox Sports Net type channel. Other teams followed suit and got in the act afterwards, in some cases it succeeded (Comcast Sports Chicago, owned 25% by Comcast, 25% by the Chicago Cubs, and 50% by Jerry Reinsdorf the owner of the White Sox and Bulls; Altitude which is owned by the owner of the Denver Nuggets and the Colorado Avalanche; NESN which actually predates YES and is owned 80% by the Red Sox and 20% by the Boston Bruins; and SportsTime Ohio which is owned by the Cleveland Indians), and in some cases its failed (Victory Sports One lasted a cool 3 games when it was established in 2004 by the Minnesota Twins, however when it failed to get cable coverage anywhere in the established markets of the Twins and thus folded as the Twins moved back to their local FSN).

However this merger isn’t just about their own television network, which we WILL get to, as well as WHY it would succeed, it’s about integrating the businesses of two sports franchises that seem so different but really together could be the same.

Now, I don’t know if Mickey Arison and Jeffrey Loria know each other, hell, I doubt they’ve even been in the same room, but one has to think that if presented with such an idea, something could be worked out. For Arison, it would be a chance to own a piece of a Major League Baseball team. I’m not sure if that’s something he’d be interested in, hell if he was he probably would’ve competed against Huizinga to bring baseball to South Florida (No way he would’ve bought the team from him in 1998 when the team was up for sale, the two men hated each other!) For Loria, it would be something new to his portfolio, an NBA team, and the glitz and glamour that comes with it. The model with this though is one of efficiency.

The Heat and Marlins obviously wouldn’t merge their baseball and basketball operations. As funny as it would be to see how Larry Beinfest would try to woo LeBron to the Heat, or see Pat Riley find a way to make Freddi need to spend some time with his family, or see Cody Ross run the point, or even Dwyane Wade fully emulate his hero Michael Jordan and hit below the Mendoza line for the Carolina Mudcats one year, it’s just not going to happen that way! Here’s what WOULD be merged:

·

-Stadium/Arena operations. The Heat own and operate American Airlines Arena, and while Miami-Dade County will own the new Marlins Ballpark with the Marlins operating it. The two teams thru their merged company could create a company in charge of operating both places. Now the New York Yankees and The Dallas Cowboys set up a joint-venture between the two of them to operate both stadiums, this plan is similar but like I mentioned before there’s more to it. The positive of this is no competing for events. Concerts expecting to have large draws in the winter in South Florida’s perfect winter weather take place at the Marlins Ballpark, while smaller summer shows would take place at the Triple-A. Plus it would also open up the possibility of a Regular Season Heat game played outdoors in front of possibly 40,000 Heat fans sometime between December and February. (I’d suggest an annual Christmas Afternoon game against the Magic, Knicks, or Bulls and tie it in to the Orange Bowl Festivities, and while we’re at it, BRING BACK THE ORANGE BOWL PARADE DAMMIT, sorry, that’s another blog!)

·

-Sales and Marketing. Now here comes the drawback, if you merge their sales and marketing departments, which deal with ticket sales, marketing, and the Miami Heat team store, and sponsorships, well, people are going to lose their jobs. I’m sorry; it’s a fact of life with these mergers. BUT, wouldn’t it be more efficient and save both clubs a lot of money if their sales and marketing departments were combined? Just imagine the possibilities: Heat season ticket holders get discounts on Marlins tickets, Marlins season ticket holders get discounts on Heat tickets, and season ticket holders of both teams could actually purchase packages that combine the two teams. Example: say you but a 20 game Miami Marlins season ticket package. Well, season ticket sales for baseball are made right in the middle of basketball season, so you buy a 20 game Marlins ticket package, and you can get 50% off any 4 Heat games from the time you purchase the tickets until the end of the season. Plus, you could by Heat tickets at Marlins en Miami, the Marlins Little Havana ticket office, or Marlins tickets at the Triple-A. Hell, you could buy tickets for any event taking place at either arena at any of the arenas. Metaphorically speaking, you could catch a Saturday Afternoon Marlins game in April that begins at 1pm. You’re out by 4, and there are tickets available for the Heat’s 7:30 matchup with the Knicks that could determine what seed the Heat get in the playoffs. Well with your Marlins ticket, you could go to a ticket window at the Marlins Ballpark (or even a computer kiosk if you’re using a credit card, which many people would anyways) show the Marlins ticket to the attendant (or scan it if you’re using the kiosk) and just like that, you could get 25% off your tickets to the heat game. In fact, the Marlins will even be kind enough to even let you know the best time to do it (it's when you hear the PA say “now pitching for the Miami Marlins, Renyel Pinto.”) Same could go with the Heat at the Triple-A as well.

·

- Shared Sponsorships. Of course the myth in sports is that they make their money from the fans that come see the games. Well, sort of. Sponsorships like it or not, drive the economy of sports. After all, there are as many as 19,000 sets of eyeballs at the Triple-A, and during a sell-out there could be as many as 37,000 at the Marlins ballpark. Now with both teams negotiating joint sponsorships, odds are companies could pay less money but reach more people. They could probably even pay less for the two teams combined then they do for the Dolphins alone. The two teams already have many of the same sponsors, such as Pepsi, Papa John’s, American Airlines to name a few. An appealing proposition to sponsors though would be the opportunity to sponsor both teams, purchase advertising in both venues, AND purchase ads on their new Television Network, which brings me to the final point (I know you’ve been reading this for a while and are at word number 1,590 right now, so just bare with me.)

·

-Their own Television Network/Radio Network. Now they already have their own “radio networks” but those are really just a loose chain of radio stations that cover the team. Well, they could sell their radio packages together, or even purchase a Sports Talk radio station in South Florida of their own (Best station for that would be the low-rated 940 The Sports Animal WINZ. Great coverage not only in Miami-Dade and Broward, but could be picked up as far North as Palm Beach and as far west as Ft. Myers, both within the markets of the Heat and the Marlins. Then make Dan LeBatard and Jorge Sedano offers they couldn’t refuse for Drive-Time, while developing new local talent as opposed to syndicated sports programming with the exception of ESPN Radio and Westwood One’s NFL and NCAA package, then purchase an FM Talk station geared towards men 18-45 for overflow programming and general talk or syndicated talk programs like Dan Patrick and Jim Rome.) Of course I’d also suggest purchasing stations throughout the Marlins and Heat’s territory including Naples-Ft. Myers, and West Palm Beach to simulcast such programming.

.. ..

Then there’s their television network. Fox Sports owns a monopoly on sports programming throughout the State of Florida, owning two Regional Sports Networks: Sun Sports and FSN Florida. Unfortunately, these two networks cover sports in the ENTIRE sport of Florida. This leads to the Heat and Marlins getting subpar deals to broadcast their games, on a Sports Network with virtually no other local programming, not even a nightly report on all that’s going on in Florida Sports. In fact, if I have to see The Best Damn Sports Show Period one more time, I’m going on a 5 county killing spree!

There IS a better way, and this one will not only benefit the Heat and Marlins, but the Panthers, Dolphins, even whichever Television stations in the Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, and Naples-Ft. Myers Networks decide to sign on.

.. ..

The new cable net would be based in Miami, with studios based in the Triple-A for Heat games, and in the New Marlins Ballpark for Marlins games, and main studios based in whatever Miami television station they’d partner with (Of course, the network would encompass all of South Florida, when I say all of South Florida I’m not just speaking of the Miami-Ft. Lauderdale DMA, but also West Palm Beach’s DMA and Naples-Ft. Myers DMA.) They’d purchase the rights to Heat and Marlins games, produce them, and the teams would collect the revenues from Advertising. If they choose, they could bid on the Panthers, BUT, I could mainly see them just making a serious bid on them, before FSN decides since they’re already losing the Marlins and Heat to make a serious claim to the Panthers, thus driving up the price for the Panthers.

.. ..

Of course, if the Marlins-Heat TV partnership wins the rights to the Panthers, then they’d have a South Florida only regional sports net, a good idea would be a South Florida Cable only news network to accompany it as sort of a South Florida version of Headline News with bureaus in all of the local Television Stations affiliated with them in South Florida (before they went all Nancy Grace on us) plus a venue for overflow programming (I.E. Panthers Games)

.. ..

Again, the programming would be strictly local. If they do somehow manage to own the monopoly on South Florida Sports Coverage, they could also bid on exclusive rights to Miami Dolphins pre-season football, plus Miami Dolphins post game press conferences, off-season press conferences, and during draft time a Miami Dolphins draft special. During the day they’d also air press conferences of any of the teams involved, plus hourly news and weather updates from their partners.

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What would they air other than press conferences, specials, and the games themselves you might ask? A lot! I’d sign a deal with WWE for one. MSG in New York has one, why not our theoretical regional sports network? First you’d have programs from the WWE’s developmental territory Florida Championship Wrestling every weekend. It could air late at night or in the early mornings. Then you could have WWE’s Florida Classics. If a significant wrestling event from WWE, WCW, NWA, or any wrestling organization whose library is owned by WWE took place in Florida, it could be shown on WWE Florida Theatre hosted by none other than the great Craig DeGeorge!

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During afternoons you could simulcast LeBatard’s show since he loves to be on TV so much, along with the previous night’s Marlins or Heat or Panthers game or even classic Heat, Marlins or Panthers games, Fall Friday Nights could be for the High School Football game of the week, with coverage of the State Football playoffs and championship. Then after games a comprehensive post game show, then a 30 minute South Florida Sports wrap up show similar to SportsCenter, without all of the superficial shit they include, that also includes relevant National Highlights.

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Now I mentioned all of these partner TV stations in the three television markets this station would have cable coverage in, but you're probably asking, what would this station do for them? A LOT! This would be a lucrative package for any Television stations that decided to sign up for such a partnership. Just cut sports completely from their budget and pay a flat fee to the network for a nightly 2 minute sports report at 6pm and 11pm (or 10pm depending on the station) PLUS, a Friday Night Marlins package, a Friday Night Heat package, a Saturday Night Panthers Package, and possibly if Friday Night doesn’t work or even as a supplement to Friday Nights, a Sunday Afternoon Marlins package (this one would only last until September if the partner stations are CBS or Fox affiliates because of football.)

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Of course the main studios would be located at the flagship broadcast station, meaning we need a station that’s state of the art, would appreciate the programming, and wouldn’t mind also running a local cable only supplement to their main news programming. From Miami, I’d eliminate WFOR because, hell, its 2009 and they haven’t even gone HD yet even though they’re a CBS owned and operated station. While the thought of an all news station would appeal to WSVN, it hurts that it’s a Fox Station and Fox wouldn’t be too thrilled with one of their stronger affiliates linking up with someone that drove them out of a lucrative market. WPLG has the ABC affiliation BUT then if ABC gets interested and decides to stir the pot a little bit, we’d wind up with ESPN South Florida and honestly we don’t want that (even though the radio station would be an ESPN radio affiliate AND late nights the RSN would air ESPNNEWS, an ESPN clone is NOT a good idea.)

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This leaves us narrowed down to two options in South Florida: WTVJ, an NBC owned and operated station, and WSFL, a tribune owned CW affiliate. (WBFS is owned by CBS like WFOR, therefore it’s eliminated by proxy despite being the home of WWE Smackdown due to its MyNetworkTV affiliation.) Well, thing with WTVJ is that they’d enjoy the cut costs from not having a sports department, but as for an all news channel operated by them, eh, sorry, couldn’t see it working. Plus, we already mentioned a Friday Night Marlins/Heat package meaning Jay Leno would be pre-empted, something we all know NBC doesn’t wantdespite the fact that it’s been this year’s television EPIC FAIL!

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In South Florida this leaves us with WSFL. Once upon a time it was just known as Channel 39, then WB 39, then CW South Florida, until finally they rebranded the station SFL. They already have the rights to SEC Football and basketball and have been aggressive in purchasing programming. Their afternoon programming to compete with other station’s news programs includes top hits such as Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Two and a Half Men. They’re also looking to expand their local news presence, and are operated by the Sun-Sentinel, a local Miami newspaper (both are owned by Tribune Company, who has a similar arrangement in Chicago to the local TV station-local cable news net idea for South Florida that I’m posting.) They’ve already launched a morning show that has seen its rough patches but improves on its ratings daily, and with the backing of the Sun-Sentinel could most likely run a 24 hour news station using up and coming talent that are fresh from graduation from FIU or UM to possibly in the future promote into the big leagues (which in their case would be a 10pm newscast.) Plus, other than SEC football and basketball, no other sports programming from any networks (CW doesn’t have the rights to any sports coverage) and weekend programming that mainly consists of re-runs and movies (and since the CW doesn’t program on Sunday Nights, the occasional Sunday Night Heat or Panthers game could find its way onto SFL’s schedule.)

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This seems way too perfect not to work, especially since Tribune has experience with their local stations airing local sports teams games (WPIX in New York with Mets, Rangers, and Knicks, WGN in Chicago with the Cubs, White Sox, Bulls and Blackhawks). As for the other partners, Well, let’s go with the CW affiliates in both markets: WTVX in West Palm Beach, which has no plans for a newscast but would sure welcome one either produced by WSFL but geared towards West Palm Beach (or even an hour long newscast simulcast to both CW stations done in Ft. Lauderdale servicing both markets since Ft. Lauderdale is in the middle of both.) And for the Ft. Myers-Naples area, since their CW affiliate WXCW had a newscast produced by CBS affiliate WINK, both stations could contribute and be a member of this loose network, with WINK getting some Marlins, Heat and Panthers games in the Friday-Saturday-Sunday timeslots that they’d normally air anyways that don’t interfere with CBS Network programming, plus the money they’d save on their sports bureau.

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Of course you’re thinking this wouldn’t work, as the station would mainly give out Marlins and Heat propaganda. Not the case, it would be independent of the two organizations, but owned under the same corporate umbrella. The reporting would have to be fair, and not abused like say with negative attacks and editorials about departing free agents or players they want to trade (not at least without a dissenting opinion). The revenue’s they’d bring in with advertising, and their partnerships with these stations would be enough to give the Marlins plenty of money to spend, as well as give the Heat more than enough to cover any luxury tax payments they’d have to make.

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Of course, all of this is just a pipe dream, but a great idea none the less. If I’m the Marlins and Heat and this offer was proposed to me, I’d take it in a cocaine heartbeat. What are the chances of this happening? We probably would never see it, but if anyone reads this that can make things happen and get things done, they might want to forward the link to this blog in an e-mail to Mr. Mickey Arison and Mr. Jeffrey Loria, that way at least they’ll waste money hiring consultants to tell them exactly what I’m saying they should do and telling them for free.

And if it does happen, Mr. Arison, Mr. Loria, and their consultants can take all of the credit.

Andrew 17 Years Later...

I had never encountered anything like it before or since. His wrath was pure hell. It sounded like a war zone out there, while we were safely bunkered in our house, Andrew pounded South Florida with its giant dick like we were a fresh virgin pussy.

See, I knew I could somehow turn the second worst natural disaster in American History and worst I’ve ever lived through into a giant double entendre, but I honestly think that hurricanes are named to provide these. It’s more fun to say that New Orleans was fucked by Katrina than it is to say New Orleans was decimated by a hurricane, it also makes it easier to find the parallel’s in relationships too. But the experience itself was not fun.

Yes, there’s such a thing as fun hurricanes. In 2005 while everyone’s focus was on the devastation in New Orleans, Miami actually got hit by two storms (Wilma and the aforementioned Katrina), And grazed by one more (Dennis). Wilma and Dennis I’ll admit were fun, it’s easy to make hurricanes fun when they’re category 3 or lower. Get friends together, get some alcohol, maybe some weed (if you smoke weed that is, I don’t but just putting it out there) play some music and just party till the storm ends or the power goes out, whichever comes first. Katrina wasn’t as fun because of the location I was at (dad’s house, he’s a bit more conservative) and because of the fact that the storm was really worse than the Miami Media had us believe it to be. (They said it was a category 1 when it came ashore, yet it didn’t feel like a category 1, and the damage I saw outside didn’t say category 1, however, it still wasn’t bad enough to stop MTV, who held the VMA’s only three days later.)

Andrew though, which ravaged the South Dade area 17 years ago today, was when I lost my hurricane cherry. Part of the reason why I can look back at Dennis, Katrina, and Wilma so fondly was because I was old enough to know and respect what hurricanes can do, I could see the sense of humor in them, and because by the time these storms came to us, we knew what we had to do to prepare. Hell preparing for hurricanes has become old hat down here. We know that at any time between June 1^st and November 30^th; even more so between August 1^st and October 1^st, whenever we see a tropical wave coming of the western coast of Africa, it’s time to get ready. See I know the science of hurricanes now, they’re necessities, they cool off the earth by releasing excess heat, and they take seeds of plants from Africa and move them to Florida, creating Mangroves, which are used as habitats for many of Florida’s diverse wildlife. God has a reason for everything. (Once again, Science and Religion CAN MIX!!! Don’t let anybody tell you differently! Science proves God, and even the best scientist will tell you, even if he’s atheist, that there are some things that science alone cannot explain.)

However, no one sees the good of hurricanes, and it’s pretty easy to ignore it when levies are bursting open in New Orleans, or houses are being flattened in Homestead and Florida City. The flip side of the coin is that sometimes, people do lose everything. Granted, in the case of Katrina as well as Andrew, the disaster was compounded by man-made human errors. We all know about the case with New Orleans, the city government’s continual procrastination in fortifying the levies, but no one talks about why Andrew really messed up South Florida the way it did anymore, it’s become a lost story, so to speak.

Because South Florida was growing so much, new developments sprung up like weeds in the late 80’s-early 90’s, mainly in South Dade. These houses were built quickly and efficiently, however, the houses that were built were built poorly, and code enforcement wasn’t as strict as it should’ve been. This lead to scenes like this one: listen to what the guy is saying, that was pretty much the sentiment, that the homes were death traps. Yet no one talks about it anymore. (BTW: Most of the older houses survived Andrew with flying colors, to the point where my mom would rather ride out a hurricane in an older house built pre-Andrew. To her, if it could survive Andrew, it could survive anything, which is probably true.)

Let me describe for you Miami, Fl on August 23^rd, 1992. We were still a growing community, on the cusp of becoming an economic and trade center, a gateway to the Americas so to speak. New developments seemed to spring up where there was once nothing but swamp and forests. We had gotten out of the Cocaine Cowboys/Miami Vice era, and while crime was still bad, it was nowhere near the early-80’s levels that caused Time Magazine to put the city on the front page with the title “Miami, Paradise Lost.” The day before, I was supposed to go to Disney World following my last basketball game, I was looking forward to school starting the following Monday (I was entering the 3^rd grade) and the Dolphins kicking off their season against the Patriots (September 6^th was the original date of their home opener.) As the family had gone to Wal-Mart to prepare for our Disney Trip on our last week off/last minute back to school shopping, we were greeted by a full store (I know, Wal-Mart’s on a Saturday Afternoon have been and always will be full, but that’s not the point) BUT unlike most Saturday afternoon’s, they were purchasing hurricane supplies, extra water, canned goods, power tools, generators. It was then that it hit my parents, still together at the time and only 6 months away from an acrimonious split that would turn out to be for the best in the end because of the blessings it gave us, holy fucking shit, this storm is coming right at us.

We enjoyed the rest of the day as a family, even ate at Tony Roma’s and took in the Dolphins/Bucs pre-season game there, which was played under a cloud of uncertainty, after all, Andrew was being looked at as “The Big One” and as such, it was a good possibility that maybe, just maybe, it could be the last game ever played at the then-Joe Robbie Stadium. (I didn’t realize the scope of it now, but seriously, had the hurricane’s center only hit about 20 miles to the north, very easy to do since hurricanes tend to wobble as they travel, for all we know the Dolphins could’ve been that year in the same situation as the Saints were after Katrina. And by the way, they still play at Joe Robbie Stadium, only now it’s called LandShark Stadium.)

The next day, it really was a big blur. Every TV station carried wall to wall news coverage of the impending storm, each with their own interpretation of the events. While everyone remembers Bryan Norcross and his calm demeanor through it all on WTVJ, I still remember Rick “Twitter God” Sanchez on channel 7. The sky was falling according to him; it was the anti-Norcross. Since I was only 8 and couldn’t help out anyone, all I could do was watch TV to see what would happen. It was repetitive. 2pm update from the National Hurricane Center, press conference from the Dade County emergency management office or whatever its called, press conference from Gov. Lawton Chiles, news report from gas station of people filling up their tank as well as filling up their spare tanks, news report from Home Depot, news report from Publix, 3pm update. It was the same thing, over and over again. Then it was time to go to sleep, but not for Andrew.

Andrew did its damage late at night; honestly, I slept through most of it. Because of my age and sleeping through most of it, I couldn’t tell you about Bryan Norcross that night, how he pretty much talked South Florida through the worst thing to ever happen to it. And yes, normally I’d make a Dave Wannstedt joke here, but this is a serious part of the blog. I didn’t know what was going on outside, in fact, our house got out of it unscathed, despite the fact that we were in Kendall, one of the areas that received the brunt of the damage. It was only when we woke up that we saw how bad it really was. One house only 5 blocks away from us had its entire wall ripped off. Just 5 blocks away! Sunset drive, the street our townhouse complex was (still is in the case of my dad, who lives there to this day) was completely flooded. I saw signs toppled, power lines knocked down like nothing, trees that were there, gone! This was a lot for my 8 year old brain to really comprehend. All I was thinking was “When does school start” and of course, “What does this mean for the Dolphins?” (Why wonder about the Dolphins? They had a great team that year, and no, Andrew had nothing to do with what ended up happening, I’ll explain later.)

It wasn’t until we were fortunate to get our power back only 3 days later that I found out what had really happened down south. The footage here doesn’t quite do it any justice. Even 17 years later, it’s still heartbreaking to watch. I ended up living in this area during 2005, and we came up relatively unscathed. The areas have picked up beautifully since then, but the psychological fear whenever a storm is approaching is still there. Home Depot, Wal-Mart, Publix and Winn Dixie are always filled, sadly the shelves of water and non-perishables (and in the case of Home Depot and Wal-Mart, power tools and generators) are not. Plywood is bought in bulk like it’s going out of style, because shutters are way too expensive. We’ve made it through other storms since Andrew, but they’ve been brushed off like mosquitoes. Andrew though, well we still haven’t quite shaken it off.

Homestead almost looks brand new. Before Andrew their main focus was the Air Force Base. Things were looking up for the city, the Cleveland Indians were to conduct Spring Training in a brand new stadium there, and Homestead AFB was one of the main Air Force Bases in the Southeastern United States. Andrew however would destroy the stadium, and did enough damage to the base for the Government to consider closing it down completely before instead deciding to make it an Air Reserve Base.

The stadium, while it was rebuilt, wasn’t ready in time for the Indians though, who decided to move up to Winter Park in 1993 before moving back to Arizona last year. The stadium is now used for, well, I don’t even know what it’s used for, it doesn’t have a Wikipedia page for God’s sakes, everything has a Wikipedia page, our podcast is getting one soon!

The one benefit that Homestead received was the construction of a new race track that is the home of NASCAR’s Season Finale. It has been called one of the prettiest tracks in all of NASCAR and also hosts Indy Car races from time to time. The area has also undergone a building boom since Andrew due to the lack of available land throughout Miami-Dade County. It’s still a mostly rural community like it’s been for most of its life, but not as much as it’s been in the past. Still, it took nearly 10 years for the area to fully recover from Andrew’s wrath, and those that where there before and are still there to this day have not recovered psychologically from it.

The rest of Southern Miami-Dade County recovered quicker. Cutler Ridge mall, which was virtually destroyed by Andrew, was reborn as Southland Mall. It’s still kind of ghetto, but I like it. The only signs of Andrew you’ll see around there are psychological signs, and that’s only during Hurricane Season. Metro Zoo, which was destroyed during Andrew, has rebuilt, and while it’s not as much fun to go as it was when I was a kid (and a hell of a lot more expensive) that was probably bound to happen anyways.

Meanwhile, Broward County, mainly Miramar, Weston, and Pembroke Pines, grew thanks in part to those living in South Miami-Dade who lost their homes. Eleven insurance companies closed up shop and left Florida for good, some of them even went out of business outright.

On the sports side of things, which of course I’m known for, The Miami Dolphins ended up having to move their opening day game against the Patriots, but it was complicated. The original plan was to switch the dates, with the Dolphins opening up in New England and the Patriots closing it up in Miami. But due to a scheduling difficulty, the two teams instead had to take Week 1 as their bye week and make up that game on October 16^th, their original bye week. They didn’t use that as an excuse though, as the Dolphins started 6-0, finishing with an 11-5 record, good enough for home field advantage in the playoffs. But their season came to an end at home as the Buffalo Bills defeated them 29-10 to move on to the Super Bowl where they would get destroyed by the Dallas Cowboys. (The Dolphins would’ve at least shown up for the game, the second time that had happened in the Marino era: Dolphins host the AFC Title game, lose to inferior opponent in said title game, watch inferior opponent lose Super Bowl, ugh, fucking Tom Olivadotti!)

The Heat (I know, I haven’t mentioned them all blog!) ended up hosting a charity game against Michael Jordan and the Bulls, a game that I had the pleasure of attending for free. Other than that, they were the pro sports team the least affected by the storm. Their season didn’t start until November anyways, so other than the Hurricane relief game against the Bulls, really not much to write about with them.

The Hurricanes probably had it the worst. Many players lost their homes in the storm. Yet the team ended up going undefeated during the regular season, including Wide Right II, before losing to Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, thanks in part to their cocky trash talking, and the efforts of one Mr. George Teague.

The Marlins didn’t exist until March of 1993. Obviously had they been around, it probably would’ve been a tremendous problem for them. But they weren’t, so we can move on, not that I would’ve cared.

In 17 years, South Florida has changed since Andrew; the biggest change was the fact that it accelerated the White Flight that had been occurring in South Florida. Andrew for many was the last straw. But it also showed a community that came together in the aftermath, people were nicer to each other, and were always willing to help out. Sometimes, that’s the positive part of this otherwise terrible disaster. Plus, building codes were beefed up and are now the toughest in the country, and as a whole, we’re better prepared to handle any situation that comes our way. Andrew might have been a tragedy, but in the long run, can actually be looked at as a good thing, plus, a badge of honor for anyone living in Miami at the time.

Faith and Sports, when athletes REALLY need your prayers

"What Michael Jr. is going [through] is just a bump on the road we call life, Please pray for him, he needs it." –Michael Beasley Sr., Father of Miami Heat F Michael Beasley.

Reading or hearing something like this is usually a black flag. No one wants to hear “pray for him, he needs it”, but then again, doesn’t everybody need to be prayed for at one point or another?

I usually don’t start my blog posts like this. Here I just jumped in, instead of giving you a proper introduction. But this was all the introduction I need. I figured that now I can go over a topic that is somewhat controversial to many, not to me, but too many out there, Faith and Sports.

Why did I use the whole Michael Beasley saga as a jumping off point for this? Well today, I find out that the man who’s supposed to be the future of my favorite basketball team, the man who at the very least is expected to be the Scottie to Wade’s Jordan, at most the team’s main guy if Wade leaves next year, has checked into rehab. For what, it’s not quite certain. I know last year he was fined because he, along with other Heat draft pick Mario Chalmers and Grizzlies’ PF Darrell Arthur had a little party in their hotel room during the NBA’s Rookie Symposium that might’ve involved the use of marijuana. We also know that Beasley was a happy go-lucky good, probably a little too happy go-lucky, you know the type of mood you’d expect from Tommy Chong or Snoop Dogg.

However, it seems to me like this is a problem that’s not so much drug related (I hate calling it that btw, I don’t think weed should even be illegal, too much scientific evidence points to it helping people more than hurting people, and it hasn’t killed a single person in history, as Katt Williams says, Marijuana is a plant that just so happens that when you set it on fire it will get you high. I don’t do it but I’m not against it, if that makes any sense to you) as it is with something else, something far worse that can and does lead to drug use: depression.

I’ve been following Be Easy on twitter since I first got a twitter account in April. Like with most celebrity tweets, whatever he’s said on there I’ve kind of just glossed over, no big deal. After all, I don’t look to Michael Beasley for anything profound; I just look for him to put up 20 points 10 rebounds a game next year and work on his defense. But what I didn’t notice were obvious cries for help he had posted on his account.

"Feelin like it's not worth livin!!!!!!! I'm done"

"I feel like the whole world is against me I can't win for losin"

Usually, if you receive a text like this from one of your best friends, your first reaction is to call him or her and see what’s going on, see what you can do to help. While I may follow Be Easy on Twitter, I don’t know him personally, there’s only one thing I can possibly do, pray for him. I've been through this situation in the past, I didn't need rehab, but I did need a wake up call, something to tell me that life truly was worth living, and my relationship with God only got stronger because of it. So you can say that I know what Michael Beasley is going through, and that makes it easier for me to identify with him. (Weird note, I was around the same age too.)

I usually don’t mix sports and prayer. I’m not the type of sports fan that prays for my team to win, really that’s just stupid and self-indulgent, and God has more important things to worry about than a game. I don’t pray for athletes to perform well, again, God has more important things to worry about. In a world with two conflicts going on in Iraq and Afghanistan, genocide in Darfur, communist dictatorships in North Korea, China, and Cuba, people dying every day in drug wars on the US-Mexico border, crime going on in every major American city at any time, the results of a game, just a silly game, is inconsequential. I don’t even pray when an athlete gets injured because, I know that he’ll have the best medical team available and he’ll be back to normal quicker than you could ever imagine.

But this is something different, this is about a 20 year old kid, one who probably grew up too fast and too soon, and has lived in the spotlight since he was 16-17 tearing it up in the DC area where high school hoops makes you a local (and now a day’s national) celebrity. We’ve seen this story play out before of the high school hoops phenom, some of them turn out very well (LeBron, KG, Kobe) sometimes not so well (Sebastian Telfair, or even worse, Eddie Griffin who committed suicide by deliberately ignoring a railroad sign while driving and allowing a train to hit his SUV) but this isn’t a story condemning the state of young basketball players, we’ve had plenty of those. But the question of too much too soon still applies here. Fact is some people handle these things differently from others. For every LeBron and Kobe, there are at least 10 Telfairs, 10 Griffins, and a few like Be Easy.

So while he may be an athlete and might not get much sympathy for his plight, he has my sympathy; and he has my prayers. Anyone who’s going through depression and feels the need to use alcohol or drugs as an escape from it is someone who needs help and prayers. I’d say this whether Beasley played for the Heat, the Pistons, or the Knicks. Hell if Tom Brady or Albert Pujols were going through this, I’d say the same thing. Hopefully in rehab, Be Easy can get his life back together and can shine like the star everyone expects him to become. He doesn’t even have to do this in a Heat uniform or even on the basketball court, but in his life. Beasley really seems like he’s a good kid. Yes I called him a kid, because he is still just a kid, 20 years old. I hope he gets help for him, and for his daughter, who is only three months old. As much as I’d love to see him as the next great power forward, he also has to be the next great father, both of which he’s more than capable of.

So I will be praying for Michael Beasley when I go to bed tonight, praying that he can overcome his issues, and that he may emerge from all of this as a stronger man, and this helps him grow up.

And selfishly, if it also improves his defense on the court, it will be a major bonus.

Its 2009, not 1999!

Allen Iverson is one of the best players I’ve ever seen. He’s a former number one pick, 2000-01 NBA MVP, he single-handedly led a Sixers team that had no business being even a playoff team to the NBA Finals and actually stole a game from the dominant Shaq-Kobe led Lakers. He’s a warrior, he gives it his all every day, and when all is said and done, will be one of the 50 best players in NBA history.

I don’t want the Miami Heat to sign him though.

The prevalent rumor going around town is that Iverson is the Heat’s big free agent target this year. In an effort to keep Dwyane Wade beyond this season, the Heat wants to make a big splash and be a contender. Wade in fact is the one spear-heading the Iverson to Miami talks, and is begging Riley to make a move and sign the ten time all-star.

On paper, the heat signing Iverson is great, but basketball games aren’t played on paper, they’re played on the court, and that’s where Iverson could be a problem. I have no doubt that he still has game despite being 34 (only five years younger than Coach Erick Spolestra) but Iverson has always been somewhat of a ball-hog. He’s not a natural point guard, he’s a 2. Wade is a 2. Obviously they’re not going to put Wade on the bench, which means Chalmers will lose minutes. While I wouldn’t have a problem with Chalmers losing some minutes so that he wouldn’t have as much pressure to develop into the point guard we know he could be Iverson wouldn’t be the right guy for him to lose minutes to. (I’d much rather the Heat had decided to keep J-Will last season.)

The other key question is, how much will this cost? I’m sure Iverson won’t sign for super star bucks. While his name is still a star name, and he is a future hall of famer (yes, he is, I don’t care what you say, he’s headed to Springfield five years after he retires, ring or no ring), Iverson still would cost more than he’s worth. Now the deal the heat are preparing to offer him isn’t one that will screw them up for next year’s plans to sign Bosh, hell I’m sure it’s probably a one or two year deal at the most. But to me, I don’t see where it would improve the team right now.

Facts are Orlando and Cleveland actually got worse. The moves look like they got better because they got big name players, but they got worse in the sense that they acquired two of the biggest chemistry killers in the NBA. Orlando traded a future swing man who can take pressure off of Dwight Howard in exchange for another shooter who’s past his prime. The Cavs didn’t give up much for Shaq, but I’m telling you, LeBron and Shaq will not work. This leaves Boston, who made a signing that can improve chemistry (Rasheed) as the team to beat in the East. The Heat could’ve improved based off of the development of the youngsters on the team. It would be smarter to wait till 2010 for Chris Bosh because then, they shoot to the top of the east. (LeBron’s not staying in Cleveland, and this is the Celtic’s last real shot) Iverson maybe takes a 43-39 number five seed that loses a first round series in seven games and makes them a 45-37 number five seed that loses a second round series in five games. That’s not much of an improvement there, and not a move to the upper echelon of the NBA.

Best thing to wait. The Iverson signing will only bring a name and sedate Wade, but it won’t improve the team like he hopes it will. It won’t make the team better, and could make it worse. They’ll be fine without Iverson for this year, and Wade has to be convinced with that because, for some reason he doesn’t see it. So to Pat Riley, go with your gut, don’t sign Iverson, wait for Bosh.