Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...(A Look At How A Thomas Galicia Article Gets Written.)

This post might make me look even more concieted than I already am while at the same time probably upsetting someone here or there. Whatever, I'm still posting it.

I figured this would be a fun time to let all of you in on how I wrote my latest article "Miami Dolphins: The Current and Honest Feeling of a Life Long Miami Dolphins Fan," while at the same time promoting my not yet published book.

First off, I decided to make this a break-up article, I'm sure you saw that right off the bat.

Why? Well my beautiful and super-intelligent sister Loren once described her love of the Miami Heat (the only professional team she cares about in the only sport she cares about) like this: "Its like a relationship, and if its going bad and I'm being mistreated and they're not doing their job, than I'm out of there."

Of course, the Miami Heat are the opposite of that but that was what she had said during their tumultuous start earlier this season.

As for the Dolphins, not the same. I'm glad she a. doesn't like football and b. isn't a Miami Dolphins fan, because she would've kicked them to the curb years ago.

Of course, I'm not "breaking up" with the Dolphins because of the losing, but because of the many things both on and off the field that they continue to fail at.

See the Miami Heat and Miami Dolphins are like The Hilton and Motel 6.

But that's another article for another day, sorry to get all off topic.

Since this was a "break-up" article, I actually used inspiration from my book (coming to a bookstore near you at some point in time), where the main female character, Annette, breaks up with the main male character, Tommy.

Well to call Annette a MAIN female character is a stretch, she doesn't have much dialogue in the book, in fact most of the book is about Tommy getting over Annette, sorry I'm talking in tangents again.

Anyways, some of the dialogue in the article is lifted straight of Annette's dialogue in the book, therefore some of it was a simple copy+paste job.

The rest was stuff I added (the relationship in the book and reason for its demise was different from this one) was stuff that was important to why I decided to "break up" with the Miami Dolphins.

Then I added videos from the good times of Dan Marino, and the bad times of Ted Ginn and his family, rehashed bad memories from 2002 when the Dolphins were the most talented team in the AFC but were led by a complete dunce, rehashed the good times as well, and just simply explained that, Miami, it was over!

Of course at the end I admit that it wasn't, I don't know if that takes some of the bite out of the article or if it proves to the readers that that's just my feelings at the time, but either way, this was an article I've been thinking of while the entire Sparano/Harbaugh soap opera that again embarrassed the Miami Dolphins played out.

So now that you've read the article (you did read the article first, right? If you didn't, now would be a good time to do it!) and you've seen how I wrote it, I hope you enjoyed it.

And Let's Go Heat! (and Dolphins.)

Does Anybody Even Know What A Satire is?

This weekend I went on a writing spree, of which I'm assuming this is part of since I just wrote a new story about two hours ago.

But man, did I get annoyed with the reaction of one story I wrote, titled: Why The Los Angeles Lakers and Miami Heat Are Overrated.

Now if you haven't already, stop for just a second and read the article.

Did you really take the article seriously? Was I really trying to insinuate that the Heat, Lakers and Celtics, the three most talented teams in the NBA, were overrated?

Sadly, at Bleacher Report, there are hundreds of articles written like this every day.

Each of these articles are filled with complete internet diarrhea, as they are nothing more than a "My team's dong is bigger than your team's dong" variety of "facts." Many people are upset at ESPN for hyping these teams up and playing favorites with them. You know your argument is off base when you're making me defend ESPN in 2010.

That's why I wrote the piece, to MOCK all of the people who write such incessant garbage. And sadly, people got upset that I dared to satirize something that needed to be satirized, all in the name of common sense and logic.

Anyone who reads that piece should know that taking it seriously would be like taking Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, or The Colbert Report seriously, if you do, you have some serious problems.

Yet some people took this crap seriously! How serious?

THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO READ! THEY INSTEAD ENGAGED IN THE TYPE OF BEHAVIOR THAT I WAS TRYING TO MOCK, AND ON TOP OF THAT, QUESTIONED MY WRITING ABILITY!

Now there are few things I'm sensitive about, one of them is wishing ill upon others, which forced me to defend someone I've never met and probably wouldn't urinate on me if I was on fire even though he plays for my favorite basketball team, and the other is when my writing skills, which I've worked so hard to refine since I was in Middle School, are attacked by people for no reason and instead of offering constructive criticism, they just call it a "waste of time."

I'm not sure if I should be calling them the idiots for not getting it, or if I'm the idiot for thinking that these people would be smart enough to see through everything said in the article, but I need to reassure myself (yes I'm that selfish) that I did this correctly.

So I'm asking all of you kindly, if you got this far and haven't read it yet, or if you have and haven't critiqued me yet, to please read the article, and critique it CONSTRUCTIVELY! Tell me whether you got it, if you understood that it was a joke and would've had I not told you already. If you read it before I exposed the parody aspect of it, tell me if you caught onto it quickly, or if I needed to do something better in order to make it more clear.

Because unfortunately, for the thousands of bleacher report readers who read it, I didn't, and it honestly has me just a little ticked off.